Dear Life

I would like to thank you for your recent application to add more "things" into my life, but at this present moment all of my worry spots are filled up good luck with your hunt for others to impart your "adventures" on.

So my dad called me today and said that he is trying to get back together with my mom. He said she is confused! No crap! He asked me to pray that she would have clarity and choose him. How wonderfully unselfish! Now let me ask you dear father are you doing this because you miss her or because you have been out of work for months and can't afford your rent? Or are you doing it because now that she is almost engaged to another man you want to add a little more confusion to her life? I can't relive the worst years of my life over and over again just because you decide to come back and leave, come back and leave! You are the most selfish person I have ever meet.

One friend out of the hospital doing well and another friend in. I can't even talk about how my heart is breaking right now. I can't even think of all of the times I should have called them just to say hi. I loathe myself for saying oh I don't have the time to talk right now when I didn't know how little time you had left.

It's all weighing down. To have lost so much in barely a month. I just have to try to stay positive or I will lose my mind. I know a lot of friends and family have been texting me saying I should write about Jaden on here so they can read it, but I don't think I will feel like writing or anything for awhile till I can get my head around everything.