Death by...

Cake please let it be chocolate cake....

SIZE ONE BAMBOO NEEDLES!!!

Come on I picked the cake, man you suck!



So here I sit listening to Sufjan Stevens Christmas album. Typing to give my hands a break from what is currently leading to my being deformed. Size one bamboo needles and cotton yarn. Red cotton yarn as irony would have it. I am not bleeding yet, but just wait till the sewing part comes. I am sure I will be then as I stink at sewing. But wait what luck through yonder window crashes... the yarn is red so any drops will be hidden? I guess that will have to be the highlight of said excursion. I don't know what made me think something this complicated would be a good idea and that I could get it done in two months. I know I get bored easily, but come on your killing me smalls.

Knitting is sucking in general. I take a look at other projects and cringe at the mistakes. Even the baby blanket for my best friend just whispered to me "hey dumbie when you convert a pattern you need to double check before you just start on it". Well, f-you blanket! But drat if you aren't right. Now I need to go back several rows and when I was just about to finish the ball too. The Dec. the 25th my dear, projects are hmmm how shall I say..... burned! I want to burn them all! Whose with me? A bonfire of failure! An offering to the gods of knitting so that maybe my luck or sanity will change.

Also, on the Christmas front.... Where the heck are my packages? I want what I ordered you darn online stores! Three to five days my a**! Everyday you mock me as with childish hope I run to the door at every knock only to find you have prevailed again. Oh the mockery! Oh the door to door salesmen. I desperately need a force field to block those guys. Or maybe a NO SOLICITING SIGN!!!

Happy 14 days till Christmas. May your hands knit quick, your yarn never run out, and may you find out you possess more skills than you thought. Or else may you always have alcohol at hand.


Okay so are we still no one the cake!?!